Vodacom “gift” box

June 15, 2009

Vodacom wants me to use the what is left of my remaining free anytime minutes so I can get 10 gift minutes. One has to wonder how cheap service delivery is to make this worth their while on the off chance I may use some billable minutes, I suppose they make their money from the pricy contracts already. Bloody bean counters have us all figured out!

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mobile-projectorEvery day on the schoolyard a familiar scenario plays out where a group of kids all huddle around someone with a cellphone, pumping out the latest and greatest MP3 over the built in speaker. These kids can also be seen on their bicycles playing the same songs, walking in the mall playing the same song (loudly, so everyone hears) etc, etc.

The next big thing that all the mobile manufacturers are scrambling for seems to be the inclusion of a teeny tiny data projector, built right into the phone. No doubt this is originally meant for photo sharing and business purposes, but I can see something else evolving out of it. Perhaps this will be what the kids on the playground latch onto next?

Marketers, keep an eye out on this one, mobile video may become the holy grail for embedded advertising in ways we never thought of. The small screen has become untethered.

I was a suffering from caffiene withdrawal when I saw this post of a Blow Controlled mobile phone, and the following crazy scenario played through my head, this is what I would have blogged if it was all true (which it’s not):

[Start of silly fictitious post here …]

Amazing, finally someone has savvied to the idea of a blow controlled cellphone. Ever since watching fear and loathing, I knew there was more to a bit of blow than meets the eye.

200px-fandlinlv

Meet [insert manufacturer here] “blow-controlled” mobile.

I mean, who needs anything more than a really basic phone anyways. The coolness factor should an could always be influenced by providing the user with appropriate quantities of blow during purchase and carefully regulating the users intake when accessing features like the phonebook and looking for a “multiple recipient” feature etc.

At last, someone has now released that exact phone. Brilliant. Much in the same way as Apple may be laceing their packaging with crack so that people will continually buy their products once buying the first, no matter how bad it is, someone has realised that introducing a notable narcotic in your product offering will sweeten the deal just so much more, while simultaneously easing product development. Almost makes that 2 year Vodacom Weekender contract (with the useless weekend minutes) more bearable.

[End of silly fictitious post here …]

Sadly:

7eb7f53a498717eb400x400No folks sorry to disappoint but this is fact an actual device made by Pantech as featured by engadget mobile and as crazy as it sounds, this device is really controlled by the “wind” or rather the action of you gently blowing into the microphone may be used to adjust things like brightness, and volume..

7eb7f53a498717eb400x400

Disclaimer: The fact and opinions expressed on this blog are completely a figment of the authors distorted mind, and can in no way be traced back to anything correlating with any one entity or event in reallife ever. This is a work of fiction and is there only as a parody/bit of a joke and will be gladly removed at the request of any party directly affected by it.

So things are laaik lank toight out there when it comes to money and spending. I have had to park my 4×4 permanently cuase of rising fuel prices and now only get to play on weekends. Jissie I mean have you checked the price of food lately?

SA Ronds

SA Ronds

So lastnight I tune I wanna see how cheaply I can make dinner so I tried this recipe of Annette Human (nogal from “Huisgenoot Mikrogolf Wenresepte”) in the microwave (cuase its more energy efficient and I call my Microwave Bob). This stuff is called “Melkkos” (boere resep you see) and its basically Milk with some flour and butter and salt and cinnamon and sugar and its cheap. So it was like R10 for three people to scoff kief. Cheap bru..

So I started checking around what else I can score cheaply and as I look on the Internet I spot the Americans reckon that console sales how spiked last month, flying in the face of the socalled worldwide recession.

Wii Oom en Tannie

Wii Oom en Tannie

Check, things stand like this. We as humans smaak to be entertained, a lot. So we do lots of braais, beers, movies, chicks and other kark like that. Obviously that means groot kark for our bank manager in times like these where things are going vrot with the Ripple rate (Re.. , Reppe.. Rep .. ag whatever you know what I mean).

So now these clever consumers check that if you buy like a Wii (nee sies man) or a Xbox (EksD**s) or a PS3 (Again with the Pee) then you can save tons of cash in the long run cuase you will be too busy tagging tango’s in the conflict zones of the middle-east (huh!?).

Interesting hey? Now I am wondering about that new HD Decoder from LotsOfChoice … hmmmmmm

This little article on FMTech seems a little odd? The writer (Duncan McCleod) seems to be knowing a lot of facts saying that this and that WILL be released and that Jobs WILL be giving a tech spec on the new phone, and that Vodacom is going to be selling it here etc. Yes, this may all become true, but until that time I suggest he sticks to the news and stops tossing a log on the rumor mill. Masquerading speculation as fact is just wrong sorry … leave that to engadget.